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1984 |
There's a Little Stig in All of Us Department Having finished this review, we learned you can read all the original issues for free at Ty Templeton's website. You can skip this page and see the real thing, if you like. Go ahead. I won't be offended. Really. |
It's not that Stig is dumb. He's just, uh, unaware of his surroundings. Maybe it's the fact he's a musician... "Our story opens at the edge of a primeval forest, hundreds of miles from the nearest settlement." So far, in fact, that the mailman is a skeleton on the trail.  Stig, our titular hero, and his girlfriend Beatrice (naturally) hike to Stig's house. He warns her not to make any loud noises or sudden movements. "Very weird things happen in my house." |
Stig shoves Beatrice inside quickly. "Getting in the door is generally more of a problem." Beatrice is heels-up on the floor, but game. While whispers carry on off-screen. You need to be careful of the kitchen, where flying dishes "pack a nasty wallop". In Stig's bedroom cluttered with arcane junk, and "you can see my demonic-nether-world talisman on the far wall." Except it's not really Stig's. It was there when he moved in. Even though he built the place himself. "I always figured it was neighborhood kids playing a prank." The symbol won't come off. He even tried blowtorching it off, but only set fire to his piano. |
Beatrice loves piano players. "Know any Devo?" Stig plays only his own compositions. And with a Blackhawk cry "Hawkaaa!" he attacks his piano, playing so hard keys fly off. When he hits the high notes, little voices inside the piano protest. Stig yells at what we presume are imps(?). Stig wants to throw them out. Not without 24 hours notice. Beatrice checks: a law book agrees. The imps yell, "We know our rights! Hell no, we won't go!" The imps don't really live in there. It's just their summer home. "We LIVE in the dryer. We had to move when his mailbox went condo." As proof of the dryer connection, Stig finds a single sock in his piano. One imp collects them. The other says, "Personally, I grab car keys and bits of paper with important numbers on 'em." Stig demands they leave. "You'll have to come in and get us, Smarty-Boots!" |
They don't scare Stig, who sticks his head WAY inside. And notices a string tied to the lid support - as the lid falls SLAM!  The narrative tells us, "End of Canto One. There will be a short intermission. Drinks are available in the lobby." |
"Imagine total blackness all around you. A universe of thick, pure black..." Stig is falling through it. One tiny voice says he's fallen out of his house again. Another tells off-color jokes in German. Two more sing "My Little Town" off-key. THIS ticks him off. "To find out what's going on, he opens his eyes."  |
Stig hits and bounces hard. He must have fallen out of his house. Far, because he doesn't recognize anything. And who painted "Canto Two" on that rock up there? Those darn neighborhood kids? His neck hurts and his legs are cold - "WHO TOOK MY PANTS? More important, who took my underwear?" And his shoes. |
Meanwhile, in Stig's house, the local police are on the ball. "Did your piano ever do this sort of thing before?" Beatrice insists it's not her piano, "but from what I've seen, it probably acted up a lot." Did "this guy" have a license for the piano? Was he playing a requiem when he died? "We'll have to take the piano in for questioning." The police will have to remove the roof to helo out the piano. "Be liberal with the explosives." |
"Unaware of the sudden rush of house guests," Stig - in Hell - misses his "official, limited-edition Leonard Nimoy designer jeans. Why don't kids take hubcaps anymore?" A good question that will remain unanswered. "If not unrecorded." Stig's on Hellavision. Many miles away, unknown eyes are watching him - and eating popcorn.  And our story will be continued next issue. (The popcorn eater is Satan, in case you're wondering.) |
For a slim comic, there's a lot packed in. There's a goofy science fiction story called "The Ambassadors." And a page of the ongoing(?) adventures of Lance Amazing and his little space pal Whizzer. The issue also includes "The Origin of Stig", which is six black panels. (Ty Templeton's friend Klaus helped him dream up Stig.)  And there's "The Stig Look-Unlike Contest!" Possible contenders are Yoko Ono, Jimmy Olsen, Sparkles the Cat, Sammy Davis Jr, and "A Formless Lump of Mud". (The eventual winner was, I think, a dolphin fetus.) Even the subscription ad is funny. A horrendous demon demands, "What do you mean Stig's Inferno is sold out?" A mild-mannered clerk explains, "Well, it's a publishing term. It means all the issues we got from the distributor have been purchased..." |
Comments There have been many "humor" comics. Most are silly, few are funny. Stig's Inferno was very funny, and got better with each issue. How can it miss? A comic about a dimbulb who lands in Dante's Inferno and, for reasons surreal, ends up on Satan's throne while Satan seethes in jail. And all along, Stig just wants to find a telephone to call home - and his pants. All the classical elements are here: the girlfriend named Beatrice, Satan, Charon the ferry-boatman (yachtsman, here). And once in a while, Ty explains modern sins in the Catholic style. Like, if you push all the elevator buttons and lie about it, is that a venal or cardinal sin? The comic ran nine issues through two publishers - and stopped. Ty Templeton bragged about how his great friend Klaus Schoenefeld helped him pull Stig together - hence the Origin story. Klaus had his own comic about a renegade cop, Kelvin Mace: A Man Who Has No Right to be Anyone's Role Model." Then Klaus died young. And Ty said that without Klaus, there could be no more Stig. Some of us fans think Ty has an obligation to finish the series. Hear that, Ty? What would Klaus say? |
A house ad in other issues assures us: "You'll die laughing!"  Love the lil' demon with the sign "Hi, Mom!" Finally - is this a great universe or what? - we recently learned you can read the first issues for free at Ty Templeton's website. |